Blog post #2 - Part 1

April 12, 2013—Part 1

Today seemed to last forever. As I write, I am EXHAUSTED!! But the good, well-fought type of exhaustion. We started the day by heading to a nearby mall to purchase donations for the orphanage and gifts for the women who have taken such good care of A since she was a baby. It was a long drive to get there, and I had the unexpected joy of spotting a gazelle on our way! There are also cool, long-beaked shiny black birds here called “hadidas.”

Walking in to the mall was a bit of culture shock. It was very much like a mall at home in the US, though prices were a lot more reasonable. After starting to get accustomed to the dusty, bare-foot, laid-back, free-for-all of Camperdown, it was odd to again be in a big, air-conditioned place of commerce. We purchased a dozen backpacks for the children at Lily of the Valley, as well as winter clothes, as it’s beginning to get cold here. It felt wrong to be strolling around the mall, while our new little girl was still waiting for us at the orphanage. But it was to be her last day there, and we wanted to give her time with her friends and house mom before we took her to stay with us full time. (For months we’ve been told that the first two weeks here will be spent slowly and gradually spending more time with A until she finally feels ready to come sleep over at our lodge at the end of two weeks. Apparently in African time, that means that on our third day of knowing her, she will come with us full-time. This is also the case for S, who will come to stay with us with her new mom, dad, little sister, and same-aged brother. It will be one loud, crazy house!)

When we pulled up to the orphanage, A literally sprinted across the campus and jumped into my arms as I opened the car door. The other awesome family that is staying with us snapped a great photo of that moment.  A was not a big fan of us bringing donations for Lily, as they were new things that weren’t for her. It is a tricky business giving a lot of new things to an adopted child without starting a vibe of “Mine! Gimme! I want!” Six long years of having nothing of her own has left A asking for everything. I trust this will calm down as she adjusts to life with us, but at this point, there is a lot of saying No.

A delighted in showing us off to her friends at Lily. The other days we had visited, all her friends were in school, except for S. So this was the first time she got to introduce us to her peers. There was a fair amount of showing us off, calling us “mommy” and “daddy” loudly in front of other children. I had very mixed emotions about it all. I wanted to meet A’s needs and nurture her, but it felt cruel to do so in front of the other kiddos. I felt watched from all angles as I carried her and paid attention to her. Some of the older kids were reserved, and watched us from afar with curious eyes. The kids who were friends with A felt fine swarming us, asking questions, dying to see A’s photo album—a book of pictures of our family & home that we had sent ahead for her to see. They all wanted to know if we are going to America TODAY, & if we live in NEW YORK! They wanted to know if A was really going to ride in an airplane. There were also a few tiny toddlers, ambling around barefoot, noses running, following us. We wanted to pick them up & dote on them, and sometimes we did, but A didn’t appreciate it much.

Watching Tabby at the orphanage was joyful/stressful. She was not shy at all, and ran straight for the trampoline (or as we call it, “the death trap”). It is a medium sized trampoline, built into the ground, with eight-inch springs all around it. Tabby’s little legs frequently fell through those springs & got her caught. Under the trampoline, in the hole in the ground that provides room for bouncing, there is trash, single shoes, all kinds of things. The kids that live at Lily got off of the trampoline every time Tabby got on—they seemed very eager to keep her safe. That made me feel grateful and also sad. I don’t want them to believe that our white daughter deserves any more caution/privilege/safety than they do. But at the same time, I would not let Tabby do half of the things I see them do! For instance, A does flips on the trampoline. Yikes! These kids have learned all kinds of unsafe tricks to amuse themselves. They eat anything that comes their way without washing their hands. They go to the bathroom without washing their hands, and then suck their thumbs. And only the toddlers seem to be sick. They must have built up immunities. I, on the other hand, am a mess. Sinuses infected, eyes watering, ears aching. Whatever immunities I have, they don’t work here!